Wellbeing And The Downside Of Being Well Behaved
Environmental factors affecting wellbeing and happiness?
Is the balance between your own wellbeing and that of your environment distorted? Or is there an innate desire to put everything else before yourself? If so, could this be a function of early socialization and/or personal experiences?
We might have heard in our childhood: don’t do this, don’t do that…, this is part of growing up and becoming a good member of a functioning society etc. Also, you might have gone through bad experiences due to no fault of yours but choose to ”be nice” and not complain while you drown in ”silent pain”, because you are considering everyone and everything else but yourself. If putting yourself last is the only guideline you follow then the balance between your wellbeing and that of your environment is distorted.
This could pose a special challenge for women in particular because once they have their own family/children, the pressures and expectations of the environment becomes even higher. Note that putting your own interests last should be adjusted to the situation and not be the general principle of your life. As much as it is wrong to always put yourself first, it is equally wrong to always put yourself last.
Remember, you are not doing yourself a favour by caring for everyone else but yourself because this will unwittingly, ooze out in your body language and consequently send the wrong messages- “I don’t matter, don’t worry about me…” These are messages you definitely don’t want to portray because they will always get you the worst deal. Yes, the worst deal, because no one will give you more respect than you ask for.
The good news is that you can change it all. And you can do this without having to become an actor or shout at everybody, just demand to be heard, demand time for yourself, express your importance and take charge of your wellbeing and happiness.
Additionally, working out could play an important role here, and it doesn’t mean you have to run a marathon or train for Miss Universe, no, it means you give special attention to your body and mind for just about 30 minutes, 3-4 times a week. Ideally holistic workouts like Yoga, ANGEL workout etc. that encourages body and self-awareness will be great, as this could help you to begin ‘’noticing’’ yourself again. Noticing yourself shouldn’t be in the form of headache or back pain or as the coordinating brain of the family. It means you consciously feel the presence of your own body and mind the whole time. It connects you to your true essence and reminds you that YOU MATTER too
Consequently, this leads to a different posture, it changes the way you carry yourself, and your self esteem grows as your body language tells: I am here. I do matter. I demand respect. I deserve better etc. And as you begin to walk with your head up and ooze out a different aura that expresses how you feel about yourself, doors will open and you will get the politeness, respect and happiness you deserve.
Remember: “The part can never be well, unless the whole is well.”